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Tuesday, 19 July 2016

Short Story: REWARD

Kofi was nothing like a gentleman but for the sake of things he had to pretend as one. He was to be a teacher, a profession he was in because his grades somewhat did not qualify him to go to the university like most of his friends. He had no love for the profession, his mother had suggested it to him! He graduated by strictly the mercies of God.

When he finished, he had one hope and that was to be posted to an all girls school. He had heard that in girls’ school, the teachers ‘used’ the girls a lot. It made a lot of sense; having lots of girls crowded in one area meant the probabilities of sleeping with a girl or many was high. Indeed, God was merciful and answered his prayers. If he couldn't attend university, he could at least satisfy the little “organisation” down there.

On the first day at school, he was blinded by curves, breast and buttocks of all sizes. He had a boner alert the whole day and had more than four ejaculations. He slept a happy man, he told himself that that was perhaps his only consolation in life.

His first victim was Beatrice, she was a flirt! She loved throwing herself around every handsome teacher in the school. Getting her to bed was easy, it practically took him three days and some biscuits. He was mortally satisfied with the results. He was so happy but his happiness was cut short when he heard other teachers laugh at him “Na Beatrice ye obaa a yedi no? Obiara edi no bi da.” He was very hurt, he felt like a gigolo (as if he wasn't one already). Then came the second victim - Emily, then the third - Sylvia, the fourth - Bella until he lost count.

He didn't care about the perceptions about him outside. Of course, he heard many birds singing that he was a womanizer but to me having (seemingly) unlimited sex was God’s reward for him not going to the university.

But God is not a fool. He slept with one Ama and died during the act. Ama was afraid to tell anyone that Tikya Kofi had a heart attack when he was pulling out. She lives with the guilt till this day. 

Friday, 15 July 2016

Short Story: HEALING



He tried to, first, love her, second, compare her to his favourite character in a novel he remembers half the lines and lastly, he tried to make her his all. But he failed. The afternoon he first saw her, he became restless, the afternoon she left, he became restless.

The very first day he saw her, he was with two lusting young fellows who were shouting false sexual escapades. “Oh! That girl? Lef am koraa. I chop her last year koraa ooo. Now ibi like she wan do her body like she be brand new product” Daniel, one of the boys said in a high-pitch tone “I chop her basa basa. She dey even scream for help that night”

“Dannie dier you dey form ooo. But abi you know I chop your cuzon yestee” Peter tried to tease Daniel.

“Abi I don’t give a fuck! Massa, you for use condom oo and chop her well well. Make sure her body come oo na that my cuzon koraa she no dey even pect any bro. Massa chop am”

The two looked at Seth simultaneously obviously expecting him to say something. “Why? What's wrong?” he asked obviously lost as to what they really want.

“Seth dierr! He dey do en body like he bi Roman fada but i hear he spoil pass” Daniel looked at Seth condescendingly.

“I am a virgin” he replied almost in a whisper.

Peter stood up from the short wall they were sitting on and circled Seth as if he had said something extremely unheard of in history.

“Make you commot for there! Wey nonsense you wan blow we this evenin tee?” he neared him “bro, you be seventeen ooo not one and not seven. Even Primary Five kids koraa them chop demabody! Clear off koraa!”


Just then she walked by. At first, Seth gave her no attention, she looked vaguely familiar, all he knew was that she lived close by and that was the extent he wanted to know her.

“Seth, call the girl and flow her say you wan her number.” Daniel whisperrd.

‘But I don’t even know her” he said a bit louder, embarassed and dead sure she heard it.

Peter lowered his voice “Do wild and diet her keke. You for experience life oo and be guy small. See if you small bro koraa hear say you are a virgin koraa he no go call you Bra Seth again ooo.”

He stood up shaking, doubled his footsteps and whispered something inaudible. The girl turned and looked at him frowning.

“What do you want?” she asked sternly almost shouting so that Daniel and Peter could hear it.

“Your number” he stammered.

“And you ---”

“Can you please lower your voice? Please, I am begging you. Just pretend you are giving me a wrong number, I only don't want them to make a mockery of me” he interjected with so much quaker in his voice.

She looked at him and saw paradise. This is what she always dreamt of, to be loved by a boy so handsome and soft. She knew him, in fact, she admired his decency. He was a part of the few boys who did not sag their shorts in the name of fashion. Regardless, she disprove of his association with those boys and wished should they ever go into a relationship, he would stay away from them.

“What is your number?” she asked him

“Zero….two…..zero…..four….six……” he replied carefully mentioning ever number correctly.

She called him, his phone rang and it was her favourite song! How lovely, she smirked.

“Call me” she walked away.

That was how the heartbreak story began. Since he wanted to keep the relationship, he stomached every pain she subjected him to. He really wanted to marry her despite everything but she was a wild horse who wanted not to be tamed. She wanted more of him (which he couldn't provide). Then one day, she left. He never healed till this day and had to settle on alcohol and a promiscuous lifestyle. He often reasoned “If I had had sex with Estelle, she would have never let.”

But she loved him and he also loved him but she was afraid she had made him a womanizer and would cheat on her with other woman and he was afraid he was incapable of loving again 

Wednesday, 6 July 2016

Death (co-written by Doyselle)

Death doesn’t come when you expect it
Not when you need it desperately
Or when you wait earnestly for it
I saw death pass by my window
But it wouldn’t come to me
Not even when I taunted it

Death comes when you least expect it
It creeps upon you in the afternoon breeze
When the sky is brightest and the birds cheeriest
It arrives at the dawn of the New Year’s Eve
Just when you step into the kitchen for a glass of water
It swamps up on you in the spring
When the flowers smell freshest and leaving is hardest

I heard a wise man say,
“Don’t expect death-
Don’t revere death-
Don’t fear death-
Do not hate death-
For what comes to you as dread
Is relief to another”